Tuesday, May 28, 2013

This One Hurts

Some of the contents in this post may not be original (I read them from the past that instilled in my memory for my guidance now and in the future), but most are (mine). May this shed some light and bring you to seeing how blessed we are in this time for thy child is a gift. 

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My eyes sore when I see a child getting hurt, physically!
It pisses me when I see a kid being embarrassed in public.
It ticks me when I hear a teenager being called with stup*! names! My heart breaks when I get to hit my own kids.. .for the sake of discipline. The TRUE consequence of physical punishment is really a big regret later on. Your heart bleeds. Your spirit disappears. Your soul vanishes in hell! Heaven cries. The Savior of the World weeps.

It's a LIE that you don't get hurt. 
Bear in mind that spanking (source: Parent, Kids, and Discipline) may cause children to think that it's OK to physically hurt someone you love .  It can even make a child more aggressive. And truthfully will become more violent and harmful. If you hurt them you get hurt too. 

Me: The weight of the pain at your end is heavier. 
And the price you have to pay is worth your soul!

The question is... when will you realize that hitting is not the first step to discipline. According to Stephen Covey, if you want a more cooperative teenager, show more love. And I believe it applies to all your children . From infancy to adulthood.

But you are impatient... he is insensitive... she is depressed - you may be in one of these situations.

So how do you start improving or changing your own discipline?
There are four ways:

The power of prayer is immeasurable.. Prayer is a defense against temptation. 
Clearing the isle for you to meet your child with an understanding and loving heart. Prayer is your Liahona to humility and understanding.

Live by example
Practice what you preach. Sounds familiar?? Yes, but it is by far the most potent ingredient and the most powerful than any other principle of discipline.
It is the surest way to help deal with the discipline you want to instill in your child. It is the strongest tool in breaking the barriers of doubt between you and your child. Transparent. No justification. Crystal clear message.

Be respectful of your child 
Respect begets respect. 
If you show your child respect -- even in times of his misbehaviour -- he is more likely to respect you, other family members, and even others. If you "lose it" or overreact with disrespect, apologize. Behave the way you want your child to behave." (source: Parent, Kids, and Discipline) 

Be calm. Be gentle. be respectful in all your all dealings. 

Extreme punishment to children in my opinion is a sin. 
And because the primary responsibility for discipline rests with parents,
 we tend to over use the authority.

Every child has the RIGHT to know why he is being punished. I remember what my dad told me when my first born was about 1. He said that when I get to hit my kid I should never forget that she deserves an explanation. Educate her the consequence and commit her to not do it again. Then close the action with a cuddle while whispering to her the words, I LOVE YOU. (But, resolving it by talking with your child heart to heart (without baby-ing him), is the best discipline of all.) He said that this type of action will heal hers and my wound. And what's magical about this is the scar will disappear. Mine did. I hope (my fervent prayer) that yours will too!

In addition, let me share some excerpts from : Rational Approach to Discipline By: G. HUGH ALLRED

"Rudeness, talkativeness, destructiveness, meanness, belligerence, 
and stubbornness all add to the chronic problem of poor discipline."

"The consistent use of natural consequences is one of the most powerful techniques for training the child to behave responsibly." 

"Rearing children effectively is a most valuable and challenging task that requires common sense and courage. With persistence, parents and teachers can find great satisfaction in their demanding roles."

My the light of the Lord shine upon you and your household. My you always choose the right and seek the whispers of the Holy Ghost for guidance. 

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